In the ol’ Southwest
they laid to rest
a lawman of local fame
Most folks called him “Shorty”;
McAndrews was his name
He stood five foot five with his boots on and favored an extra tall heel
But he never shrank from any task; Marshal Mac was the real deal

Now a short man suffers indignities so his pride takes up the slack
What the world takes away, his ego must take back
Marshal Mac was no diff’rent, but size never kept him down
He found little ways to compensate as he went about the town

He dealt with people firm and fair and the townsfolk respected that
No one smiled at his boots or custom fifteen- gallon hat
And the blacksmith merely nodded as he wiped his hands on a towel
When Shorty ordered over-sized spurs with an enormous four inch rowel

Those spurs became his pride and joy;
it was believed he wore them to bed
They made him feel taller than the hat upon his head
He kept the steel polished; each rowel cared for often with grease
But they must have been a chore to wear, as they weighed a pound apiece!

When outlaws robbed the local bank,
they were pursued by Shorty of course
He was wearin’ that hat, the boots, those spurs,
and ridin’ a real tall horse
When the outlaws heard him open fire
they would have returned fire in a minute
But all they saw was the top of Shorty’s hat—
they couldn’t see nobody in it

He nearly caught them at the river; shots were fired, but no one hit
As the outlaws crossed his horse was just a-chomping on his bit
But Shorty had never learned to swim, he feared drowning most of all
Sure his horse could swim and well, but what if he somehow should fall?

And sure enough where the river ran deep, the lawman’s luck ran short
His horse fell and listed, first to starboard, then to port
Shorty tried to swim of course, but the river wasn’t feelin’ kind
And those spurs he loved no doubt were the last things on his mind

They found him two days later and hauled his body back to town
All agreed it was his ego that caused the man to drown
They said the spurs the Marshal wore were what killed him in the end
Without their weight he would have floated —
to the shallows ‘round the bend
In the ol’ Southwest they laid to rest a lawman of local fame

Most folks called him Shorty; McAndrews was his name
His death was a tad ironic for a short man in a fix
With his boots on he was five foot five,
where he drowned was five foot six!