Slick Rock Sam had been married a short while
His wife took charge of decorating early on
She was always planning some new remodeling job
And bit by bit all his old stuff was gone

First to go was his old set of chaps
He’d hung them like art inside the front door
They were old working chaps, nothing fancy
But he’d worn them fifteen years or more

He came home one night and saw the empty nail
And a box labeled “junk” on the floor
When he asked her what was going on
She said, “Honey, they don’t match our new décor”

Poor Sam didn’t know what “décor” was
But he knew he wouldn’t win any fight
So he took the box to the loft in the barn
And hid his precious art out of sight

Next to go was an old saddle blanket
Hand woven by an old Navajo
She said, “Honey the colors don’t work in here,
I’m sorry but the blanket has to go”

Sam didn’t know that colors even “worked”
He thought only people, dogs, and horses did it
But he took the blanket to the barn like before
Wrapped it up with the chaps and he hid it

The last to go was an old Hamley saddle
Ridden by his Grandpa back in the day
She said, “Honey does that thing need to be in here?
It’s disturbing the living room’s Feng Shui”.

Sam narrowed his eyes and bit his lip
Pretty sure “Feng-a-shay” wasn’t even a word
And the things he muttered on his way to the barn
Let’s just say it best she never heard

Eventually the marriage sort of fizzled
And the two went their separate ways
When the papers were signed he wasted no time
And redecorated by the end of the day

He’s remarried now; it was love at first sight
‘Cause the first time that she got a peek
At the chaps by the door and the rugs on the floor
She said. “ It’s all done in Western Antique!”

And that place is like a museum now
When they get compliments, Sam just beams
He quickly points out that his wife gets all the credit
‘Cause he never learned what “feng-a-shay” really means